Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Hush

People go weird when you talk about dying. They don't want to.

Works for me. I was in the middle of a nasty divorce when my 30th high school reunion rolled around. I knew people were going to ask the inevitable:"Where's your wife?" And I didn't want to put a pall on the evening discussing The Plaintiff. So I hit upon this alternative when classmates asked: "Where's the wife?"

"She died."

Nobody wanted to talk about death. Clink. Party on.

I am fairly serious about death. Gotta be, I figure. Gonna happen. Might as well prepare a little. But it's frustrating because so many people find the subject uncomfortable. Case in point -- where is YOUR will?

Recently, I freaked out the doctor who implanted my pacemaker/defibrillator a few years back. Fortunately, my defibrillator has never fired off but I hear they kick like a mule and can knock you to the ground. So I asked my doctor: how do I die? I don't want to lay in the street, flopping.

He just walked away. I couldn't determine whether he was laughing or having convulsions.

(Footnote: when I told my better half I was blogging about my death, she said that would certainly please a lot of people.)

So, let's talk more of this in the future. OK. But before we leave the subject here's a true story from a recent seminar on death and dying. The young moderator thought he would open with a shocking statement: "How do you want to die?" he asked the audience.

And 86-year-old woman stood up and shouted: "In Tom Selleck's arms."

3 comments:

Denise said...

As the obituary writer/typist for 10 years, I became a bit more comfortable with the subject of death. I have instructed my sons that I am to die as I lived -- when I die, have me cremated and throw my ashes over the mall on a sale day. I've come to believe that line from "Poltergeist" -- there is no death, just a cross over to the next realm. Maybe there, chocolate isn't fattening...

Marianne said...

Has one of your ex wives really died ? :-)

When divorces are painful, people just should get divorced. There are always better solutions.

marianne said...

should NOT get divorced...

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