My worst fears have been realized.
I wore pants with an elastic waist. For comfort, you see, on the four-day driving trip from Texas to Minnesota.
And a polyester, no-wrinkle shirt. Every day.
And I drove a minivan.
And I "watered the dog" at rest stops. On a red leash. While she-who-knows-things was shopping in the antique stores, I sat outside on the bench with the dog in my lap. Strangers began to pat the dog.
Worse, I got carded in a Holiday Inn club so I could have a glass of wine with dinner. Carded to make certain I am over 65.
It seems like only yesterday that I was cruising around Austin in a red Mercedes convertible and living in a downtown condo where the wine merchant a block away knew my name.
So this is where cool goes when it evaporates.
What's next -- voting Republican?