Saturday, June 9, 2007

No ice fishing in Texas

Now that I'm a snowbird, I'm becoming bi-cultural. Or, cross-cultural if you're snotty.

Understatement: Things are different in Minnesota than in Texas. Take tap water. In Texas, water from the faucet is room temperature, like red wine. In Minnesota, tap water will crack your teeth even in summer. It comes from the bottom of the glacier.

Back in college, one of my many jobs was selling classified ads and I skim classifieds when visiting other cities just to get a feel for what's happening on the streets. These days, I dink around on Craig's List for cheap thrills. It's an instant cultural snapshot.

Take "cars for sale." In Minneapolis, sellers are quick to mention "rust-free" by golly. In Texas, they talk about burning rubber in second gear. Yes, they do.

While they are running ads for convertibles in Texas, snowmobiles are on sale up north.

This Minnesota ad jumped out: "Bullet proof vests for sale. $300." I think the seller lives up a lonely country road surrounded by an electric fence and has big dogs.

And just a few items later, this appeared: "Wanted used, dull dental equipment." I'm not kidding.

In Texas, you can buy almost anything with Longhorn emblems: watches, Cadillacs, boots, pool tables and grave plots.
I'm not making this up.

In Minnesota, merchandising is less aggressive for the Golden Gophers. You can understand why.

You can buy five tons of Texas limestone on-line, but I don't think they'll let you leave the state with it. Hell, I don't know why.

In Round Rock, someone is having a close-out sale of beer tap handles. I wonder if they'll deliver all the way up here?

1 comment:

ArchGrafiX said...

"You can buy five tons of Texas limestone on-line, but I don't think they'll let you leave the state with it. Hell, I don't know why."

I think you can, George...you just have to leave a mineral deposit...heh, heh...

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