Sunday, September 16, 2007

With apologies to L. M. Boyd*

Relax. It is only a rumor that Campbell's will recognize Baby Boomers with a large-type alphabet soup.

Name the American subculture that marries 70 percent of the time and votes 82 percent. You wouldn't be wrong if you said moderate Muslims.

Rocks at the bottom of the Grand Canyon are said to be four million years old, which begs the question -- how old are rocks a the top of the canyon? Haven't all rocks been on Earth the same amount of time?

If you are older than 55 and looking for a job, figure the hunt will take you nearly seven weeks longer than your younger, better-looking next-door neighbor.

Every day, 1,000 veterans of World War II die. Salute.

Several airlines offer cloth napkins with button holes to international business class passengers. Picture that.

Traveling with kids? Rent strollers and stuff from Baby's Away or The Traveling Baby Co. Those napkins with button holes would work here, too. Urck.

The U.S. median household income, adjusted for inflation is now $48,451. What? Still not enough, you say?

Don't believe everything you read in the paper. Newspapers have always lied about their own circulation numbers. They never adjust for population growth.

Minnesota hunters have bagged 2,502 black bears this season. Don't go out in the woods alone after Oct. 14. That's when the season ends.


* L. M. Boyd was my hero. Yours too?


The South Plainsman said...

Our local paper has never been useful for much. I take a minute or two most days to glance over it. I always read L. M. Boyd's little piece every day as long as they ran it. I miss those little gems of wisdom.

Bill said...

The way it is going the black bears and veterans will vanish pretty quick.

Anonymous said...

L.M.Boyd was one of my favorite writers. I imagined myself to be his replacement after he retired and I grew with wisdom. (This comment does not require any retort by Mr. Phenix or the south plainsman, nor any reflection on my character----- Goose

Anonymous said...

Really, what is better than a grab bag of factoids?

-s.l.d. cowen

The South Plainsman said...

Goose, I could make a lot of seamy comments, but I won't since you have reformed. Age takes care of a lot of things our preachers like to take credit for. LOL

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