Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thanksgiving: turkey and duct tape

My sweetie knows how to duct tape a turkey. Does yours?

You think I'm kidding, but no. This is the gospel truth. The Mystery Woman and I have a dozen relatives coming for Thanksgiving dinner. Naturally, we've been busy with the make-ready necessary to feed so many people. She's been the busiest.

But I thought she had popped the final cork when I saw her break out the duct tape. I think I screamed. The Mystery Woman is, after all, unorthodox.

I was certain she was taping up the little wings so the bird would fit in the pan. But I was wrong. In my terror, I had failed to notice the turkey was in a clear plastic brine bag and she was merely taping up the garment so it would not leak overnight in the fridge.

What? You think I over-reacted? If so, you do not know the true depths of her unorthodoxy. This is a woman who suggested Post-it Notes might make good kindling for the fireplace. She made that solemn observation as she was tearing the duct tape with her teeth.

Turkey dinner. Red wine or white?

Happy Thanksgiving.

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