Return with me to yesteryear when being old was like living in a petting zoo. People and grandchildren would pat the old people on the back. All the time. And barely listen to what they were saying. Consumption and the vapors were the disease du jour. Incurable, too.
What the hell ever happened to aging gracefully? Today, there’s more contact with your inner child than your inner geezer.
What’s going on? Is denial contagious? We’ve become a nation of aging thrill-seekers. Even George H. W. Bush is jumping out of airplanes. Wanna see my abs?
Damnation. Do they even make rocking chairs anymore? No place to rock anyway. They stopped making front porches in the 80’s.
Foolishly, I was thinking old age would be a bit more comfortable. You know, slip a little bourbon into the oatmeal and start telling stories.
I blame the goddamn baby boomers. They’re the ones who invented Botox.