Thursday, February 28, 2008

Geezer? Not me.

Return with me to yesteryear when being old was like living in a petting zoo. People and grandchildren would pat the old people on the back. All the time. And barely listen to what they were saying. Consumption and the vapors were the disease du jour. Incurable, too.

What the hell ever happened to aging gracefully? Today, there’s more contact with your inner child than your inner geezer.

What’s going on? Is denial contagious? We’ve become a nation of aging thrill-seekers. Even George H. W. Bush is jumping out of airplanes. Wanna see my abs?

Damnation. Do they even make rocking chairs anymore? No place to rock anyway. They stopped making front porches in the 80’s.

Foolishly, I was thinking old age would be a bit more comfortable. You know, slip a little bourbon into the oatmeal and start telling stories.

I blame the goddamn baby boomers. They’re the ones who invented Botox.


The South Plainsman said...

There is not enough Botox to help you.

For the first time in my life, I live in a house with a front porch big enough for rocking chairs for me and my bride. No rocking chairs there, though. During the "warm" months (April through November) we do manage to do a lot of evening work in the front flower beds, and therefore get acquainted with our neighbors, who walk their dogs, children and grandchildren in the evenings. That is very nice, and I recommend it for everyone. Neighborhoods can be very comfortable.

Do I have rocking chairs on the front porch? NO. My pal, an English Setter named Sassy, cannot be allowed to run loose in the front yard. Ordinances, you understand. So my rocking chairs are on the back porch. It's a nice area, covered by an arbor, with flower beds all around. I even have a propane fireplace, with granite counters around it, which keeps the cold off, and provides a spot for libations or dinner plates. And my pal, well she has a big time when I am out there. So do I.

That is my spot in the evenings for the warm months. One can sit there and enjoy being old enough to enjoy peace and quiet. Or listen to some music piped out from the computer. To enjoy contemplation or meditation. Or all of the above. There are downsides to being a geezer, but there are upsides as well.

Come join me sometime.

Anonymous said...

I quit wanting a rocking chair when my ex-wife started using 'twoinrockingchairs'as the internet address for their e-mails.------------goose

Anonymous said...

Boomers didn't kill the front porch. Mosquitoes did...Kinch

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