Monday, April 21, 2008

Sheep, credit cards, trees and elevators

In an elevator, people put up with a don’t-touch-me zone that is smaller than most human conveyors: about 1.8 square feet. The amount of space calibrated for people in subways and U.S. Army vehicles is 2.3 sq. ft. Normal touch zone is 3 sq. ft. and 10 sq. ft. is the personal comfort zone. Schizophrenic inmates require 15 times that amount. Move over.

Have you noticed fewer good deals on credit cards landing in your mail box? Thank the credit crunch for the cutbacks in direct mail solicitations. Few of us are willing to take on more debt as the economists wonder whether the recession is for real.

There’s a battle going on in the ground underneath Central Park. Tree roots are competing for space in that piece of prime real estate. The latest tree inventory used G.P.S. technology to count and locate trees. Final count: 24,132 mature trees with an additional 2,000 saplings on the way up. The tree census used to require 16 humans and an entire summer. The four-person team with electronics did the same job in six weeks. No word yet on if a tree falls during the curfew and there's no one to hear it...

Thinking of changing careers? A good sheep shearer can shave a sheep in two or three minutes, earning up to $70 or $80 bucks an hour. One instructor sheared one in 52 seconds. He had trouble staying awake but who's counting?


Anonymous said...

Hi George,

It is with mixed emotions that I read your your explanation for fewer credit card offers in the mail with mixed emotions: the credit crunch. For the last seven years I have been conducting a beneath-the-radar personal war against the credit card companies by mailing back their junk mail--envelopes and all--in the business reply envelopes they so helpfully provide. Every time I did this, it cost those bloodsuckers 50 cents to take back their trash. Until you burst my bubble just now, I had been thinking I was winning.

George Phenix said...

Don't stop.

One, we don't need anymore credit cards, and ...

Two, the unsolicited credit card junk mail makes it easier for crooks to steal our identities.

Grumble, snarl, gripe, complain.

Anonymous said...

For a guy who's personal comfort zone was 3" for girls and 3' for guys,you sure selected a good topic.----------Goose

Anonymous said...

Did I mention that the above zones were your zones back in Hub city.-----------Goose. Sorry about that, Mystery Woman

James Smith said...
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