Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Elephant clothes

One reviewer said the new line of Republican National Convention clothing was almost disappointingly tasteful. But almost all of it was made in the USA. Write this down if you want an elephant tie or somesuch: www.msp2008.com. Minnesota hosts the national convention this year and the Twin Cities are redefining “Minnesota Nice.” How? You ask. City leaders are considering letting bars stay open until 4 in the morning. Another proposal would have bicycles with credit card access posted throughout the cities. Combine the last two items and it conjures up quite an image at IHOP.

The tasty tomato has been replaced by genetically engineered “red tennis balls” lacking in both flavor and nutrients. The modern tomato contains less calcium and Vitamin A that its 1963 version. Read “The End of Food” by Thomas Pawlick.

Do you like jazz? Could be another sign you’re getting older. Today, jazz is only about three percent of music sales in the U.S. It gets worse. Amazon best seller are easy-listening riffs from Kenny G and Michael Buble. Put on some Charlie Parker. Hurry.

If you are lucky enough to remember manual typewriters, you may recall salesmen would let the tough old Woodstocks tumble down a flight of stairs to demonstrate reliability. Try that with your laptop. You have? Sorry.

(And that's a tip of the hat to L.M. Boyd, greatest trivia writer ever.)

6 comments:

The South Plainsman said...

I think I will forego the elephant clothing for now. I'll stay with chinos and a T shirt. You guys will enjoy having the Republicans up there. It will be culture shock on both sides. LOL

As for tomatoes...well, they will probabaly ge even tougher with all of the new border enforcement. They will have to breed them tough enough to harvest by machine.

Anonymous said...

I refuse to eat the cardboard tasting tomatoes. I've been growing my own juicy sweet reds for a long time now. In fact, I just planted a bunch of tomato plants this afternoon.
As for as the elephant clothes I pass, just as I pass on alot of things that are supposedly Republican this year.---Goose

Anonymous said...

I remember the old Royal typewriters with the handle for the return. I was pretty quick with that manual, and it survived many a drop from the kitchen table. Then IBM Selectrics came along. Man, we were whizzing along the typewriter highway, stopping only long enough to dab a bit of Liquid Paper on mistakes. Then came the first word processor, and it literally took up the entire room. Now, I could probably type a novel on my cell phone if I could only figure out where the question mark is hiding... Goose -- what kind of tomato plants did you plant? I agree with you -- am tired of the cardboard versions of tomatoes. I remember fresh ones from the garden where we'd use a knife to score the outside skin, peel them and use a bit of salt and enjoy the heck out of them. I'd love to grow some, but don't know what kind of plants to buy! Besides, I refuse to pay $3.49 a pound for cardboard. Denise

The South Plainsman said...

Denise, Better Boys do well out here on the Plains, as well as Sweeet 100s for the cherry tomato. Get some for the kind of temps and soil you have where you live. I grow mine in large pots.

Anonymous said...

Denise,I have tried several types over the past few years.South Plainsman gave you right on info.Better Boy does real well,and for the smaller variety I like the Patio Bush. It gives lots of sweet tomatoes and it can be grown in a pot.
Several years ago I took my bride out to Arch Lambs place to pick tomatoes.She ate more right there on the spot than she did at home later. Dang they were good.---Goose

Escaped Waco Alive said...

Angered at me the other night for being her husband and male, my wife tossed my plastic, circuit-boarded IBM Electronic Wheelwriter at me. Missing me, it hit the floor and shattered. Thank God she didn't throw my heavy metal IBM Selectric II. It would have shattered the tile floor.

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