Friday, May 30, 2008

Food is political?

What you eat, pollsters claim, indicates how you will vote. Examples: Dr. Pepper is Republican; Pepsi and Sprite, Democratic. You are probably a Dem if you lean into clear liquor like vodka and gin, along with white wine and Evian. Republicans like darker stuff such as bourbon, scotch, red wine and Fiji water. Bartender, make them leave me alone.

Like your new toothbrush? You won’t like it as much when you try to fit it into the old holder. It won’t. Fat toothbrushes have replaced the Popsicle stick kind. And holders lag behind in design. Question: are teeth getting bigger? Answer: of course not, but now they can charge six bucks for a bulked-up toothbrush.

Quote: “It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.” Typical understatement from comedian Steven Wright.

To stay elder ready, some Florida cities are encouraging banks to install ATMs with larger buttons. And maybe the grocery stores could create checkout lanes exclusively for the older folks.
Florida – God’s Waiting Room.

One more geezer bit. A picnic for 45 centenarians had to be postponed because half the gang was away. On vacation!


Jeff Hebert said...

With regards to elderly checkout lanes, I noticed that the HEB grocery store right next to Sun City, Texas, now has self-checkout lanes. You know, where you have to take your groceries, scan them yourself, bag 'em, and enter your own payment info.

I don't know what sadistic bastard put that kind of thing into a store next to a retirement home, but I'm pretty sure they're video taping it and planning on selling the results to "America's Funniest Videos".

I actually asked one of the workers there how it was going, considering the clientele, and she just looked at me and said one word.


George Phenix said...

I hate, hate, hate those self-service devices. Their logic clashes with mine. Their small print eludes my bi-focals. And their stupidity get the picture.

However, kudos to the American Airlines boarding pass kiosk at the airport. Slick, easy to understand.

The South Plainsman said...

Add me to the complainants about the self checkouts. Our local Albertson's had them before they went broke, and I don't think the darn things ever worked right. Always had to get a manager over. It either couldn't keep track of what I put in the sacking space, or I would buy more that three of the same thing, which would lock it up. Our new store just has human beings checking for us. A relief.

As for the booze, well I'm a Dr Pepper guy during the day and Scotch during the evening. The white stuff is for sissies.

Anonymous said...

while the self service check out thing is sometimes frustrating, at least it can make change. I use it when I go to Home Despot. I find when I go to a grocery store it is amusing to watch the cashier try to make change. As to the thing about adult beverage choices...I drink Scotch and an occasional Dr Pepper and I have never voted for a Republican in my life.

Anonymous said...

I like Home Depot self check out. It means that I do not have to wait in line behind the idiots who cannot figure out a simple scanning system. Get a better set of bi-focals if you have a seeing problem. I love brown water and red wine, and am apolitical.

Anonymous said...

I hate the self check machines,so I don't use them. I don't drink hard stuff,but when I did I didn't care what color it was.
As for the anon contributor who never voted for a Republican--So you,re the one!!!--- Goose

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