Thursday, June 19, 2008

Outrage alert

A freshwater mermaid graces the label of a limited-edition beer in Minnesota. Lakemaid Beer says the personalities of the beer girls on the labels are like those of the fish. Huh? Well, Miss Muskie is sullen and brooding. Miss Bluegill the most peppy and Miss Walleye hard to please. I’ve never understood mermaids. Question: what makes a mermaid sexy? Answer: beer.

Crickey. No more trips to the grocery? Soon you could have a scanner in your kitchen that is connected to your grocery. Before you toss an empty container, scan it into the device. (As a side benefit, the appliance will tell you whether the empty container goes into trash or the recycle bin.) After a few days, you’ve built your shopping list. Hit the button and wait for the delivery. Cheaper than driving, especially when you consider the time you used to spend up and down the aisles.

Never forget a face? But can’t remember phone numbers? Somebody invented a gizmo that links photos and telephone numbers for your caller ID. You can know who is calling from across the room. Yawn.

Insert outrage here: Pfizer managed to stave off generic competition for Lipitor until 2011, nearly two years later than analysts anticipated. Lipitor is the world’s best-selling drug. Over $12.7 billion last year. We pay that! Greedy bastards. But where’s the consumer outcry? Can you imagine the same malaise with a generic Viagra? There would be riots in Florida.

For your retired friends, there’s a clock with no numbers – just days. “What day is today, hon?” Clever. Poignant. Pisser.

1 comment:

The South Plainsman said...

Dunno about that refrigerator. I already have one nag in the house, two if you count my dog. I just can't see buying a machine that tells me stuff.

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