Say no more, say no more

Think of one word that can be combined each of these: pine, crab, horse, and sauce. Congratulate yourself if you said “apple.”

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That sparkle in your eye shadow? It comes from mica. And the dust on your chewing gum is limestone. Ptooey.

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Which Olympic athlete flies to the games in China accompanied by a personal physician? Actually, 297 do. That’s how many horses will compete from 47 nations. And they travel with an entourage that includes team grooms, at least one “flying groom,” an equine flight attendant and a veterinarian. Did I mention the protective foam boots?

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Number of condoms shipped to McMurdo Station Antarctica in January before winter sets in: 12,132.

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My hovercraft is full of eels: click here.