Thursday, August 7, 2008

Insert headline here

Barack Obama and John McCain have both switched their positions on offshore oil drilling. They both used to be against it, but now they say they are for it under the right circumstances – like if it helps them get elected…Jay Leno

We missed the last recycling pick-up and stuff piled up. This morning I heard their truck stop and the crackle of their two-way radio. I think there were so many empty bottles, they were calling for back-up.

Dang. Seems none of my friends are into racing power tools. The fad began six years ago in (surprise) San Francisco. Entrants have since raced power drills, circular saws, grinders, vacuum cleaners, belt sanders, leaf blowers and even chain saws. Losing with grace is also important. There are eye-witness accounts of a guy wearing a seersucker suit who raced a can opener that was so slow it crawled only 18 inches in five minutes. NASCAR started this way. Did, too.

Does your doggie have a Gold Mattress? Do you? Probably not. Lovingly stitched with 22-karat gold thread for rich humans, the queen sells for $24,000; the king, for $30,000. Only 100 have been sold in two years. Regardless, the manufacturer, Magniflex, created lower-priced units for our good doggies priced between $1,000 and $3,000.

Combat troops in the U.S. 10th Mountain Division are going to war armed with special iPods which have been loaded up with languages of the mid-East region. Soldiers can now translate native languages on the spot. Solar power keeps the units running and Velcro keeps them within reach. Handy. Mighty handy.


Jeff Hebert said...

Do they have one of those iPods for men that speaks Wimmin?

The South Plainsman said...

Jeff, the Arabic downloaded into those iPods costs four grand a pop. If someone had a program for wimmin it would cost you your house, your car, your...well, you get my meaning.

My puppy dog has a $60 bed, that she will occasionaly get on, but she sleeps on a $600 chair. LOL

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