Monday, September 29, 2008

Paul Newman ruined my marriage

Our sex life was so bad that I got a life-size poster of Paul Newman and thumb-tacked it to the ceiling in our bedroom. I was hoping that looking up at Cool Hand Luke might inspire my then-wife.

No such luck and I soon forgot about the poster on the ceiling.

Later, her elderly parents were visiting and we always gave them our bed. The old people never said a word about the Paul Newman sharing their bedroom. During the third night, I heard this muffled scrumple and a yelp.

The poster had fallen on the in-laws. And I left it to her to explain.

I thought the alimony award was excessive.


Anonymous said...

Honey, next time you are out running errands, could you pick up a life-size poster of Clark Gable? Maybe you better get Harrison Ford, too.

Mystery Woman

Jeff Hebert said...

This reminds me of how Farah Fawcett never called me ONCE, despite all the long hours I spent holding up her poster with one hand.

(Apologies to Steve Martin, the actual author of the above joke.)

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Mystery Woman would rather have my picture!!----Goose

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