Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Porch season starts today

The screen porch is up. The morning is delicious at 64 degrees. Birds are getting at it. Coffee is hot. Wearing my favorite gimme cap. Ready…set…type.

Australia, like Texas, is a hot house for fables. The people are bigger than life (oxymoron?). Consider the Kei Islanders. They lure sharks on purpose with underwater rattles made from coconut shells. Tall tale? Remember, this is the land of the platypus and the occasional komodo dragon.

If your sneakers get washed overboard, widen your search. The right-foot sneaker will take a different track than the left. Plus, flotsam and jetsam are two different things. The first is an accident; the latter, on purpose. Some human bodies sink. Some don't. You probably know why.

Turkmenistan. Just the sound of it is harsh. The backwater nation was the least-wanted of the regions cast adrift when the Soviet Union crumbled. Perhaps that is what was so attractive to their last dictator. He was an evil lunatic with accidentally funny ideas. For example, the dude reworked the calendar. He renamed the days of the week and the months of the year to his own liking. He even renamed ketchup. None of it translates.

The World Medical Relief in Detroit is recycling pacemakers. They cajole funeral homes into harvesting the devices so the life-saving machines can be sent to poorer nations. Already, 50 have been sent to the Philippines, Ghana, Vietnam and Nicaragua. You can have mine if you don’t mind waiting until I’m done with it. Promise me you’re not just into scrap metal. I think they are made with platinum.

That’s it. Sixty-four degrees gets chilly after a while. I’m going inside.


Ross said...

Can't wait until there's a body parts/used prosthetics section on Craigslist.

"Seeking: Lightly used pacemaker, preferably with warranty. Also: Hair, brown."

Anonymous said...

I believe it...whatever. Would not think of trying to recycle your pacemaker....oddly we are having the cool mornings here this past weekend and today. Bill

Anonymous said...

Good words from your porch. Enjoyed the visit. Bob

Anonymous said...

it was in the 50's in Austin this A.M. and the mosquitoes haven't really started making their reloading sorties yet.

Blog of Ages said...

And the temp hit 100 today in South Minnesota. The world turned upside down. Damn Al Gore. Damn him.

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