Monday, July 20, 2009

Sure. Blame the media

Although right wingers slobber and continue to pound the media, they won’t know what they are missing until after we are gone.

Herewith is a recent sampling from the newspapers:

“Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25”

“Get 50% off or half price, whichever is less”

“One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers”

“A deputy responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mailboxes. It was the mailman.”

“An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.”

“A woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane Northeast reported that someone must have stolen her mail because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends.”

“Fish need water, Feds say”

“Alton attorney accidentally sues himself”

“County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds”

“Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum”

“Utah poison control center reminds everyone not to take poison”

“Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons"

“Police: crack found in man’s buttocks”

“1:14 a.m.—caller reports hitting intruder in the head with an ax. Notes that intruder was in the mirror.”

“A caller reported that at 7:15 p.m. someone was yelling “help” on a porch from a residence on Bank Street. Officers responded and learned the person was calling for a cat named “Help”

“The Learning Center on Hansen Street reports that a man across the way stands at his window for hours watching the center, making the parents nervous. Police ID the subject as a cardboard cutout of Arnold Schwarzenneger.”

“An Edgewood man reported recently that this wife had gone missing some18 months ago.”
“For sale” human skull, used once”

“Tombstone. Standard gray. Good deal for someone named Grady.”


Anonymous said...

These comments are far too familar. They came from one of the all time funny men-Yogi Berra!!

The South Plainsman said...

Shoot, George, if the media were that good, they would not be going broke.

Anonymous said...

Right. Yogi Berra spoke in headline form. You sure these aren't a team effort of Ben Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, William Shakespeare, Dick Cavett and Whoopi Goldberg?


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