There was a time when young men juiced up their four-barrel carburetors to make their jalopies cool. Same thing today, except they install computers in the trunk and tweak them to operate the stereo, the cellphone, the backup camera, the online diagnostics, the navigation system, the … you get the idea. Reports are that some young men have put a printer in the back seat. Misplaced priorities, clearly.
Are you a geezer? There’s an app for that. You no longer have to squint when the waiter brings the bill. Just whip out your iPhone and punch up Magnifying Glass from I-Beam. Step Two: fumble for your wallet.
The cookie diet will set you back fifty-six bucks a week. But you get to eat six prepackaged cookies per day and one “real” meal. Get yours at Walgreens and GNC. Some 500,000 people munch through weight-loss on the cleverly disguised 1,200-calorie-per-day plan. Already, competitors have jumped up as far away as Japan.
Ayn Rand is hot again. She’s the author of The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged, etc. During times of economic upheaval, The Others always drag her memory out. Conveniently, they never mention the old gal was an atheist with a reputation as “the Evil Knievel of leaping to conclusions.” Two new biographies are in bookstores. Why now? The economy just heaved up.