Thursday, October 22, 2009

Geezer? There's an app for that

There was a time when young men juiced up their four-barrel carburetors to make their jalopies cool. Same thing today, except they install computers in the trunk and tweak them to operate the stereo, the cellphone, the backup camera, the online diagnostics, the navigation system, the … you get the idea. Reports are that some young men have put a printer in the back seat. Misplaced priorities, clearly.

Are you a geezer? There’s an app for that. You no longer have to squint when the waiter brings the bill. Just whip out your iPhone and punch up Magnifying Glass from I-Beam. Step Two: fumble for your wallet.

The cookie diet will set you back fifty-six bucks a week. But you get to eat six prepackaged cookies per day and one “real” meal. Get yours at Walgreens and GNC. Some 500,000 people munch through weight-loss on the cleverly disguised 1,200-calorie-per-day plan. Already, competitors have jumped up as far away as Japan.

Ayn Rand is hot again. She’s the author of The Fountainhead, Atlas Shrugged, etc. During times of economic upheaval, The Others always drag her memory out. Conveniently, they never mention the old gal was an atheist with a reputation as “the Evil Knievel of leaping to conclusions.” Two new biographies are in bookstores. Why now? The economy just heaved up.

3 comments:

Ken said...

I recently watched "The Fountainhead" movie again. Well acted and spot on portrayal of Rand's characters who have over-the-top qualities of rugged individualism. Gary Cooper excels as the architect whose standards are sky-high. Patricia Neal is the high-minded love interest.

Regarding cookies, if any of your readers are diabetic or want to eat cookies that are actually good for you, check out http://yestocookies.com. (Full disclosure: my wife designed the website and helps with marketing advice.)

JohnSBoles said...

It seems to me Rand's perfect man is a thinly veiled anarchist, perhaps due to her family's plight in the Russian Revolution and her escape from Communism.

Objectivism is the neocons new religion. The Christian Right
doesn't understand that Rand firmly places man in God's stead. As you said George she was an atheist.

Can't wait for the next religion to spring whole from the mind of a novelist.

Cowtown Pattie said...

"The Others"

Bwahahahaha!

Cue the sinister organ music, Phantom!

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