Sunday, December 20, 2009

Pagans and Wiccans and Druids, oh my

When it comes to shooting a pistol at someone, don’t go Hollywood. If you hold the gun sideways like some cool dude in a rap video, it could cause the pistol to jam and then where would you be. Stovepiping is what they call it. The result of tilting a gun 90 degrees counter-clockwise tends to work against gravity and the ejection of the spent casing. Dumb butt.

Paganism is on the up-tick. An eleven-year study in NY counted 134,000 Wiccans, 33,000 Druids, and 140,000 Pagans. Some Pagans, however, prefer to be called by their family name – Heathens.

If you went on-line to get info on how to cook your Thanksgiving turkey, chances are you got codified. The Wednesday before Turkey Day, 410,000 people had looked up turkey recipes at, largest cooking website in the U.S. At Butterball, 11,000 calls came in (they are moving on-line and they now Twitter.) Pie searches drew the most hits at early Wednesday. But by 10 a.m. people were hunting for sweet potato casseroles and stuffing recipes. By noon, the focus switched to mash potatoes. By late afternoon, most of the men were napping.

Researchers say women begin their lives more fulfilled than men but as they age, women gradually become less happy. Men, on the other hand, get happier as they get older. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Herewith is the transcript of a phone call from LBJ to Hubert Humphrey: “Don’t ever argue with me (about health). I’ll get a hundred million or a billion on health or education. I don’t argue about that any more than I argue about Lady Bird buying flour. You got to have flour and coffee in your house. Education and health. I’ll spend the goddamn money. I may have to cut back some tanks. But not on health.”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The 90 degree pistol tilt is a display of Darwin's natural selection. Fortunately they probably don't read so no harm done.

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