Thursday, March 25, 2010

Move over Sarah Palin

The Mystery Woman has a history working with the Discovery Channel. She still does voice-overs for documentaries. Seriously.

When it was announced that Sarah Palin was going to do a reality show about Alaska for Discovery, it was only a matter of time until the Mystery Woman had her own Eureka Moment.

“We’ll do a reality show on aging,” she said. Her working title is: “The Last Frontier You’ll Ever See, Honey, So Wear Your Good Underwear.”

Naturally, I would like something a little more snappy like “Extreme Aging” but she blames my short attention span. Splat leaves no room for sequels, she mutters. Not at our age.

Ever since the notion hit her, the Mystery Woman has been jotting down ideas for weekly shows like: “Everything in Life is a Quarter of an Inch Off” and “Wood Putty and Duct Tape Your Way Through Life” and “How to Tell It’s Thursday Without Looking at Your Pill Box.”

Now that’s reality.

What are your ideas? Post ‘em.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sarah Palin has used her celebrity to coin some money. Maybe she will continue on that road and not insult the nation by running for Pres. Mystery Woman has exciting creative ideas....Bill

Ken said...

This is absolutely *hilarious* and I can't wait for you two to get to Austin so we can have you over for dinner. You can be our guests of honor and in-house comedians.

Ideas of my own:
1. "How to lie about your age with a straight face"
2. Once you reach that certain age (for me it was turning 70 in December): "How to brag about your age without sounding like an idiot."
3. "How to suck in your belly to impress a woman (or impress a man if you happen to be of the feminine persuasion) without getting reamed by your mate."
4. "How to outwit the nitwits that put a limit on how soon you can refill your Cialis, Viagra or Levitra prescription" (it's never as soon you'd like)."
5. "How to appear to be staying fit without ever working up a sweat" (Dolly Parton said "If it sags or drags I'm having it nipped or tucked.")
That oughta be enough ideas to get the ball rolling here. What say ye, folks?

The South Plainsman said...

How else do you tell its Thursday?

Blog of Ages said...

That's funny, Ken.

We've been to the emergency room so many times that I fall into a routine when the medic asks her age and the Mystery Woman demurely says,

"I'm 69."

At which point, I stand up and shout incredulously,"You're 69!"

It always gets 'em.

Paula said...

I figured either Sarah Palin or MW would beat me to it on the television show thing, so why should I share my great story ideas with them, like "How to put your socks on with a yardstick," and "101 ways to cook with prunes?"

Dee said...

This is the best idea I've heard in ages! The mystery woman is a genius.......but I bet you knew that. :) Dee (seriously, I hope this really takes off!)

ArchGrafiX said...

Ken, can I come to dinner, too? Great, creative and insightful post. Meanwhile , I stand in a muddle puddle of confusion at these other comments...

I've NEVER been in an emergency room, except with and because of my dad. And he's NOT a beater, just aging rapidly at 88. I'm just 59 and lucky, I'm realizing. More power to the oldsters and be SURE not to FALL! Keep those feet under you!

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