Monday, March 15, 2010

Urban threats, Glenn Beck and barf

There was something strange about that kid on the tricycle. He was missing … something. Then it came to me. He was barefoot. Springtime in Minnesota.

The Mystery Woman ran into a problem while re-writing her children’s novel. Somehow, she lost the use of the “n” on her keyboard. “Heaven” became “heave” and the little children loved it. They like barf jokes. Rascals.

German publishers are fussing about Apple’s restrictions for the iPhone. Apple won’t allow them to post racy content and photos. No skin, no where, no time. Hard to take in a country where it is considered prudish to wear a towel to a uni-sex sauna. That’s not a problem for my crowd.

Is the Apis mellifera a problem in your neighborhood? The NY Health and Mental Hygiene board will consider whether the common honeybee pose a public health threat. (They do in my family. Severe allergic reactions.) Many communities prohibit keeping beehives inside the city limits. The little hummers are ranked with hyenas, tarantulas, cobras, dingoes and other urban threats.

Don’t touch that dial. Apparently, not many Americans tune into cable TV during rush hour -- only around five million, compared to American Idol which has 30 million viewers. So how do these braying jackasses like Glenn Beck stir such attention? It’s the media echo chamber and the on-line cults that multiply and amplify such nonsense.

9 comments:

Blog of Ages said...

Once, while typing on an aging portable, the "s" key came flying off.

Sadly, it was not the first time I lost my "s."

Paula said...

When we were in Germany staying at the bride's home before my son's wedding, it seemed like half the village stopped by the house to wish the young couple luck, and drop off gifts. The bride's sister had no problem answering the door in her bra and panties (or not!) but I found it a bit disconcerting. Especially since she was gorgeous. Call me Prudie...

Paula said...

The words "Glenn Beck and barf" have a nice ring to them.

Anonymous said...

Beck is absolutely a mental case...they should put Plain and him together....lordy what fun. Bill

Anonymous said...

Honey bees are dangerous little buggers. I got stung by one last year resulting in a trip to the ER and an overnight in the hospital. My new constant companion is the EpiPac.
re: FOX/Glenn Back...it is hard to believe an unemployement crisis exists. The talking heads on FOX News found employement.
Larry

Anonymous said...

In defense of bees...

Honeybees are busy shuttling nectar from blossom to hive, so they haven't time to bother with stinging folks unless sat upon or otherwise contacted directly. They do resort to the sting in defense of the hive, though. And stinging costs each one her life. Even when I used to rob our hives, they were fairly docile, partly because I got them high on smoke.

The honeybees common to the US have been invaded somewhat by Africanized interlopers known as "killer bees," but most of what is blamed on them is actually perpetrated by a subspecies of paper wasp. This particular variety of hymenoptera is marked like the nonagressive yellow jacket but has compact body shape similar to our honeybee. Big red wasps are quite aggressive, but the common yellow jackets will tolerate folks approaching rather near their smallish nests under the eaves of houses, etc.

But the short and squatty variety of yellow jackets are edgy little bastards who nest inside walls, in the ground, in hollow trees, etc. And they have not only come after me unprovoked when I was ten feet from their damned citadels, but they've also chased me for quite a distance, the little insect Glenn Becks. But I repeat myself.

Since guiltless and sweet honeybees are suffering from a yet unexplained decline and are subject to a number of fungi and disease, I'd encourage folks to welcome them. Many flowers and food crops depend upon them for pollination, so we lose them at our peril.

Bob Huffaker

Blog of Ages said...

My favorite congressman and mentor, Jake Pickle, tended his hives in Austin, Washington and Niederwald.

Young mothers in the Tarrytown neighborhood asked him to stop from fear for their little ones.

Of course, he did. But I don't know if the flowers ever forgave him.

sph said...

Ditto what Bob Huffaker said.

Anonymous said...

We have honeybee allergies in our family? ~jill

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