Thursday, July 8, 2010

Balderdash can be a verb

The Geezer Hunk is back! Albeit in a different format.


Time was when I was a decent bike rider. Ten miles most every day and a couple of week-long trips of 200 miles. Ahhhh. But I’ve had so many surgeries and assorted half-life experiences that I gradually gained weight and lost hair.

I decided if I walk fast, it might seem like I have more hair. Might even lose some weight. So this past week, I’ve walked eight-tenths of a mile every day. Initially, it was huff and puff. Come to think of it, it still is.

First, I decided to gear up. Literally. My closet and my garage are filled with biking gear. I know the value of taking care of your equipment.

Every morning before I leave the house, I suit up for the trek.

The cell phone goes into one pocket. The younger EMTs will know how to call my bookie to find out who I am.

The digital camera into another pocket. (standard issue for iReporters.)

If I carry a flask, I’ll need to tighten the belt another notch.

Then I sling on the necklace with the medallion advising to EMS that I am outfitted with a fully-charged defibrillator and a four-barrel pacemaker.

What about getting a mouth guard in the event I pitch forward. Over the top?

I need a “Do Not Resuscitate” T-shirt. Maybe Walgreen’s carries them.

Have I forgotten anything? Oh yes, a note explaining my absence to the Mystery Woman so she won’t think I just went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back.

Time on task should be 23 minutes thereabouts. Anything more than that, call the liquor store. Sometimes I answer to a higher priority.

If this works, next week I'm going to air up the bike tires.


The South Plainsman said...

It is Hell getting old.

Anonymous said...

I like this one...a lot. I totally get it, especially answering to a
"higher priority." Thank you. Slam dunk...Pam

Anonymous said...

Go for it George!! Sounds like a great plan. Mike

AustinBulldog said...

George it's great to find out you're not giving up on getting fit. And approaching it with the great good humor you have is exactly the right approach. Just keep what you're doing, easing back into it, and you'll be in the groove again in no time.

I'm 70 and still at the exercise myself, though I still haven't gotten back into good enough shape to run a 5K, like I planned to do by the end of last year. But playing pool with one of my sons on July 4, I did 8 sets of 10 pushups between games, so that was something anyway.

Don't give it up, and keep these wonderful posts coming.

paula said...

Glad to see you're out and about, so to speak. As for the DNR tees, there's your next business. Sell the darn things right off your blog.

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