When asked if he is ready for Hurricane Alex to come ashore, South Texas resident Jerry Wilson said, "We got two generators and lots of guns and ammo, so we're not worried about it."
“When you listen to Glenn Beck, he makes a lot of sense. Of course, when you don’t listen to him he makes a lot more sense.” —John Hodgeman, The Daily Show
“They're having the confirmation hearings down in Washington, DC, with Elena Kagan. And so far, the woman has offered very few opinions. I thought to myself, well, my God -- how do you find a woman like that?"—David Letterman.
In my noggin, it was still dawn when the phone rang this morning. “This is a recording. We have reached your number by mistake.”