Sunday, August 29, 2010

Was Glen Beck wearing body armor?

Was Glenn Beck wearing body armor during his Washington side show? Sure looked like the outline of a Kevlar vest under his shirt. Hopefully, not because of death threats.

Alex Jones, right-wing radio host with a conspiracy theory for everything, claims Glenn Beck’s beliefs differ from the Tea Party in three major areas. Now how would he know? The Tea Party is not a political party, they say. But that’s a lot of shine.

Best headline:
Glenn Beck: Master Politician or Master Baiter? (As in race baiting.)

Busloads of people cost money and the bankroll came easy from the billionaire Koch brothers in New York City. And back when it was called Citizens for a Sound Economy, Dick Armey’s FreedomWorks received $12 million of its own from Koch family foundations. Bus tickets, getcher bus tickets right here.

Several of the preachers he recruited to stand with him have nasty history. Name two: Jack Abramoff ally Rabbi Daniel Lapin and bigot fundamentalist John Hagee.

Beck’s rally was neither good theater nor good theology. It was divisive and, in my view, cooked up by a deranged man. He spooned a lot of pabulum and platitudes. I think we are witnessing a mental break down on national television.


Thursday, August 26, 2010

Dead blogs everywhere

Dead and dying. More than 200 million people call themselves ex-bloggers. The fad is fading. Does that mean the myth of iReporters is passing, too?

In an article about the death of the Web, a hopeful young geek said, “We’ll always have Web pages. We still have post cards don’t we?"

Another wrote “Dead blogs litter the Internet like squashed bugs on a windscreen during a warm Southern evening.”

What did we used to call this movie staple: A pool of water, thickened with oatmeal, sprinkled over the top with wine corks. Give up? Quicksand.

In a recent New Yorker, we read that flight attendants often get gassy from the constant changes in cabin pressure. The poor dears sometimes relieve themselves by passing gas as they walk up and down the aisle. According to the New Yorker, they call it “crop dusting.”

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Unsafe at any speed, even slow

This will confirm what many of you have thought for years: I am obsessed.

God help me – I want a Volkswagen vanagon. I crave a camper van. A really old one with the spare tire on the front. That’s tops on my Bucket List.

It’s not like I need a hobby. I have one-third ownership in a dog. My third has to go walking every morning, rain or shine. Evenings, likewise.

But I drift from my talking points.

I cannot explain this hunger for a clunker. After all, I was never a hippie. Didn’t have much use for them. My Lubbock heritage was a beta blocker. Just couldn’t break through back then like I have now. There’s something about the slow process of going bald that sets you free.

Click and Clack, the Car Talk guys, say a vehicle this old is not a car – it’s a dependent. I know the drill. For years, I drove a 30-year-old Mercedes. My mechanic and I grew so close, we exchanged Christmas gifts. And he’s Jewish.

Yes, I know there are no cup-holders but I quit drinking and driving years ago.

So what if the crate can’t make Interstate speeds. Blue highways are better.

Too much arthritis to even think about getting frisky under the roof tent. Hmmm. Is that where frisky business is supposed to take place? I don’t even know.

Nor do I want to go camping. After four years as a Scoutmaster, I know camping. Generally speaking, campgrounds are a turn-off, roof tent or no. Although I do wonder if the Sun Shower that hooks on the roof gutter would work. The Mystery Woman absolutely refuses to test the device.

The Mystery Woman is not supportive. She owned a VW bus (not a camper) back when her kids were K through middle school. Her memories are vivid. Like the time the sliding door fell off and into the snowbank. And the time a hippie friend crawled under the van and re-connected the accelerator link with a paper clip. Or the see-through floor boards. Or …

I don’t care.

Undoubtedly, this saga will continue … as long as there's a CraigsList, I have hope.

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