Friday, December 30, 2011

Have your people call my people

"Dancing Queen" by ABBA is the ring tone on Newt's phone. But you suspected that.

A new study shows that the percent of photos taken with a smartphone grew from 17 to 27 percent this year, while those taken on a real camera dropped from 52 percent to 44 percent.

Speaking of phones, if pollsters use only land lines, they are talking mainly to older people. The kiddos are G4 and mobie. That impacts the poll results.

Texas Rick Perry kick-ass: His boots — “Freedom” and “Liberty” — might as well be named “Oops” and “Dang.”… Texas was still recovering, in some quarters, from George W. Bush’s presidency — the idea that a pair of Tony Lamas and a twang were the first two signs of the apocalypse. From Ross Ramsey, Texas Tribune.

Now comes the claim that disgraced former NY Congressman Anthony Weiner, who used his cell phone to send steamy self photos, wanted a threesome: one woman, two men. According to an alleged mistress. Butterfield 8 seems so innocent nowadays.

No man has ever been bought who was not for sale.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

GOP campaign gurgles

There are only two candidates with a chance to win the nomination: Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich. The rest are sincere, nice people who “can’t light the candle.” Kevin Dowd, known Republican.

Ouch. As of this moment, Intrade says Newt Gingrich is as likely to get the Republican nomination as Ron Paul. Josh Marshall, Talking Points Memo.

“I only exist because the country is in trouble,” Newt Gingrich.

“What’s legal is bigger in my view than what’s illegal.” Disgraced super-lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

“Remember William Jennings Bryan, or Teddy Roosevelt and his Bull Moose insurgency; recall George Wallace, John Anderson and Ross Perot. Like bees, third parties die after they sting.” Josef Joffe review of That Used to be Us in the American Interest.

“You don’t know me, son. So let me explain this to you once: if I ever kill you, you will be awake. You’ll be facing me. And you’ll be armed.” Captain Mal on Firefly. Thus saving free speech on Wisconsin campus.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Oxymoron: GOP winners

“In the standard analysis of the race, which the embattled GOP Establishment is eager to believe, the rapid ascent and implosion of each wacky presidential contender is seen mainly as a passing judgment on Mitt Romney, the android who just can’t close the deal and improve his unyielding 25 percent average in polls of the Republican electorate. The Old Guard professes to have no worries.” Frank Rich, NY Magazine.

“Plenty of Newt-bashing. Plenty of Ron Paul expose’s. I keep looking for articles that focus on Romney’s past, his stupid comments, and such… I keep coming up empty. I guess Romney must be perfect?” Blogger.

"Lenscrafters is upset with Tea Partier Michele Bachmann because she called Planned Parenthood 'the Lenscrafters of abortion.' Lenscrafters released a statement today calling her 'the Costco of crazy.'" Conan O'Brien.

“I think he (Ron Paul) is a senile old coot, the senior version of a young irascible pre-senile coot, and like a broken clock right twice a day, and one of those two times, is like the rooster taking credit for the sun rising.” Blogger.

“Propaganda ain't just a river in Egypt.” Blogger.

“Never underestimate the motivational power of a good chip on the shoulder.” Dan Hanzus writing about how the Atlanta Falcons “won’t forget” Drew Brees airing it out to break Dan Marino’s passing record.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Is this the A Team for GOP?

Commenting about the view that Republicans don’t have their best team on the field: “It is kind of disturbing that out of, what, 48 senators and 28 governors, Rick Perry is the one who wants to come out and play with the big boys?” Blogger.

Earth to Newt- you want to check what the rules are for getting on the ballot, and follow them. You can't necessarily assume everyone will look the other way because of how awesome you are. In fact, some people might rigorously apply the rules just to keep you off the ballot! Blogger.

It is the 9th inning last game of the playoffs and the republicans are losing. On deck is Sarah. Can she deliver? The agony of defeat...but…she can see the right field bleachers from her house. Blogger.

“The first panacea for a mismanaged nation is inflation of the currency; the second is war. Both bring a temporary prosperity; both bring a permanent ruin. But both are the refuge of political and economic opportunists.” Ernest Hemingway.

Actor Daniel Craig: “Politicians are sh*t heads.” Direct quote. He is so redundant.

The difference between an actor and a politician is an actor engages you in a fantasy to entertain you, while a politician does so to get your vote. Blogger.

I don’t watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God, and the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I’d like to hear a player say, ‘Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.’ Comedian Jeff Stilson.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Eggnog, religion and con men

Let’s don’t do politics today. Why spoil the lingering holiday mood?

Eggnog. Had yours this season? If not, better hurry. They stop selling it by mid-January. The wonder is that they sell it at all. Sissy drink, for sure.

Uh-oh. For the first time in e-history, this year we spent more time with mobile applications than with laptops at our desks. Thus changing BS in bars – forever. Look it up.

Religious? Gallup is the answer to your prayers. Their new poll measured religion in America and found 78 percent identify with some sort of Christianity, 2 percent are Jewish and 1 percent Muslim. Only 15 percent of us are atheists. With overwhelming numbers like that, was there really a War on Christmas?

Since 1972, we’ve been getting one second off every now and then. And next month in Paris, some bureaucrats hope to tinker with the ensuing leap second. You will need to figure out how to force your clock to accept one more second in a minute. Ron Paul is going to be so pissed.

A black activist friend says Herman Cain is the greatest con man of all time. “He conned the Republicans out of nine million dollars. Some day, there will be songs written about him.” FYI: the way he wore his hat with both front and back brims down is the trademark of a con man. The style is called ace/deuce.

Damn. Well, at least I tried to keep politics out of it today.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Political nuggets, fool's gold

David Martin, National Security Correspondent: "If Iran doesn't blink, Israel will strike. ... Go after its nuclear facilities, if Iran doesn't blink. ... [The U.S. will] have no choice but to support Israel. And depending on what the evidence is at that time they might even want to take part in that raid -- it depends on what kind of intelligence they have."

Chris Matthews, just after having Iowa Governor Terry Branstad on his TV show, “You ask the guy what time it is and he gives you five reasons why he hates Obama.”

His then-wife raged at Newt for his sanctimony in giving high-minded speeches about family values—how could he stand up and say such things and do what he was doing? His retort, she said: “People need to hear what I have to say … It doesn’t matter what I live.”

"On behalf of all gays and lesbians living in Minnesota, I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for our community's successful efforts to threaten your traditional marriage," reads the letter from John Medeiros. "We apologize that our selfish requests to marry those we love has cheapened and degraded traditional marriage so much that we caused you to stray from your own holy union for something more cheap and tawdry." – sent to GOP Sen. Amy Koch who resigned after admitting having an affair with one of her staffers.

Tweeting = stupid. That is all.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Nothing on Sarah Palin or Ron Paul, but tempted

Newt Gingrich on attack ads: “I think these guys (his opponents) hire consultants who just sit around, get drunk and write really stupid ads,” Gingrich thundered. “I am so fed up with this stuff.”

Money is free speech. So hath the Supreme Court ruled. And that sets up the next question: how about bullets? That pesky second amendment speaks to arms. What about ammo? If bullets are free speech, how about light bulbs? OMG. See where this is going.

File under We’ve Been Waiting: Rick Santorum is moving up in the Iowa polls. “I’m sort of the guy at the dance, when the girls walk in they sort of walk by, and they take a few turns at the dance hall with the guys that are a little better looking, a little flashier, a little more bling,” he told about 300 Nationwide Insurance employees in Des Moines this past week. “But at the end of the evening, old steady Eddie’s there. He’s the guy you want to bring home to mom and dad.” Uh huh.

Jimmy Fallon: “Here’s an election update. In a new interview, New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie said he advised Mitt Romney to be edgier and bolder. Or, as Romney put it, ‘Good-bye black socks, hello blue socks!’”

Shopping mall Santa on what kids want: “iPhones, iPads, iAnything.? Grandparents take note.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Where political gas comes from

It has been more than 30 years (nearly 40) since I was actively involved in politics. But it’s like catnip. Too much is not enough. Every day, I read half a dozen political sites before the sun comes up. Including the comments. Got to.

Here are some that caught my attention this morning (yes, I am biased):

Ring. Ring. Robo call. Draft Hillary Clinton for President. Click. Bzzzzzz.

Responding to the threat that Sarah Palin was so worried about the GOP field of candidates that she is considering running for president, one blogger wrote: “well, they are one clown short of a circus...”

Responding to news the Denver Broncos where Tim Tebow plays would probably not participate in making a video for It Gets Better, a blogger wrote: “The Real Jesus is pretty annoyed with the American Jesus.”

A conservative blogger wrote: “Newt Gingrich is the Ebola virus of the GOP. The Establishment understands that and has just slaughtered him. They have beat him like they were bashing new born baby seals with baseball bats on a snowy, icy Alaska beach.”

John Kelso, Austin American Statesman humor columnist, has the best 2-sentence biography of His Hairness:

On his earning a “D” in a course at A&M called “Meat”.

“Class, this is a pork chop.”

“Mr. Perry, am I going too fast for you?”

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Read the comments

America is pissed.

The online political articles are only half the fun. The professional writers seem muted when read side-by-side with the comments from the unwashed. I love reading the comments.

Herewith is more heat:

Slowly, Mitt is becoming the best looking candidate at the bar and it’s getting near closing time.

This election would make a lot more sense if I was drinking heavy again.

Romney, always the bridesmaid. Never the bride.

Gingrich, always the groom. Over and over and over.

Ron Paul thus becomes the sixth candidate to have led an Iowa caucus poll at some point this cycle, joining Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry and Herman Cain.

The evangelical vote represents the absolute worst that America has to offer: small-minded, racist, homophobic, ignorant and insecure. They've shot themselves in the foot with their own intolerance. Nobody electable is purely evil enough for them. And nobody evil enough for them is electable.

At some point the evangelical vote may be as important to a US election as the al qaeda vote.

Jenifer Bowen, the executive director of Iowa Right to Life, spent a recent evening listening to four Republican presidential candidates deliver faith-infused pitches to about 1,000 evangelicals representing one of this election’s most critical and conflicted voting blocs. She carried a basket of fetus dolls.

Bumper sticker: Be nice to Mussolini or you may wind up with Hitler.

Monday, December 19, 2011

What’s a Tea Party to do?

Gingrich is imploding, Perry, Bachmann already have. Cain is randy, Huntsman, a dandy. And Santorum is a slug. Ron Paul is climbing.

As Huff Post says: “Things have not gone as planned.”

As the Tea Party tries to swerve from the weak presidential field to focus on the senate, the skids marks are visible from outer space.

How did we get in such a mess? Read more in Huff Post. Click here.

And, for your entertainment, here are comments from other readers just like you:

"What I've heard from a lot of tea party people is that they wish they could interchange the parts, like a Mister Potato Head, take parts they like from the candidates, and put them together into a new candidate,," said Jenny Beth Martin, co-founder of the Tea Party Patriots. "But we obviously can't do that so we're working with what we have." Yes folks, Mr. potato(e) Head is the Ultimate Conservative!

They pick and choose from the Bible, the U. S. Constitution, the laws of the nation and their states, so sure they want to pick and choose various parts of each human as well.

The Tea party is a project germinated, engineered, paid for and executed by the Republican Party; a political Golum dragging an already disastrously right-leaning country further into goose-stepping jodhpurs territory.

The tea party is holding our country hostage, demonstrating staggering ignorance when it comes to running a government. They've become this country's worst nightmare.

The TP needs to take responsibility for the quality of Repub candidates. The TP has taken their party so far right that no one could win their primaries without kow-towing to the far right... or in Mitt's case... flip flopping so much it makes my head hurt! That makes them very unelectable to the rest of the country I hope ... or at least to me .. ever...

People are finally seeing them for what they really are. Even the Tea Baggers can't pull them out of this mire that they've created for themselves . But , they'll try to blame the media for unveiling them .

I would be ashamed to admit I was a GOPTP'er because of race, but that seems to be the life's blood of the TP. It also puts The John Birch Society and the Koch Bros as central to TP organization.

These people got what they deserved. Now they are comparing horse manure to pig manure and saying they don't like the smell?

Sunday, December 18, 2011

GOP Sunday -- no rest for the wicked

Rick Perry said that he might come in as low as fourth place in the Iowa caucuses next month, but said that won’t stop him from competing in other states. The new campaign consultants are earning their money. He can now count to four.

You just have to love a guy who will name his boots. Rick Perry named his Freedom and Liberty. That inspired the Cabin Coffee Company in Clear Lake to develop the “Freedom & Liberty Blend,” made of 100 percent Arabica Beans and described as being “Rich & smooth, medium bodied, sparkling acidity, with Smokey undertones.” -- ABC blog.

About Newt Gingrich plan to get rid of activist judges, courts: “Overall, he’s racing towards a cliff,” said Bert Brandenburg, executive director of the nonpartisan Justice at Stake campaign, which advocates for an independent judiciary. “It may be expedient to appeal to specific voters in primaries or caucuses, but it’s a constitutional disaster. Americans want courts that can uphold their rights and not be accountable to politicians.”

An ex-staffer of Gingrich has this to say about Newt: "We have a filing cabinet full of Newt's idea. Inside is a slim folder of ideas that are actually any good."

"The Manchester Union Leader, which is a reliably conservative newspaper, endorsed me," Gingrich told Bob Schieffer on "Face the Nation." "The Des Moines Register, which is a solidly liberal newspaper did not endorse me." He said those endorsements indicate who the "real conservative" in the race is.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

No place to oui oui?

That hovel with "facilities down the hall" that Mitt Romney describes living in while a missionary in France is currently valued around $12 million. It has been described as a palace for Mormons.

'Romney is playing not to lose and Newt thinks he has nothing to lose,' says Phil Singer.

Listen to the Newt Gingrich of 1985: "That was the old me — abrasive and confrontational. You'll see a change now." Hat tip to Atlantic.

Christopher Hitchens on Rick Perry and religion: “I happened to spend several weeks in Texas earlier this year, while the Lone Star State lay under the pitiless glare of an unremitting drought. After a protracted arid interval, the state's immodest governor, Rick Perry, announced that he was using the authority vested in him to call for prayers for rain. These incantations and beseechments, carrying the imprimatur of government, were duly offered to the heavens. The heavens responded by remaining, along with the parched lands below, obstinately dry.”

Sarah Palin accuses members of congress of lining their own pockets. That’s from a woman who made at least $37 million after serving half a term as governor. Irony, governor, Google it.

Friday, December 16, 2011

GOP win, place, show

"This is the fifth consecutive monthly poll with a new leader. It was Bachmann in August, then Perry, Cain, and Gingrich. Amidst all the volatility, Romney's numbers have held steady each month, and Ron Paul has been in double digits each month." pollster Scott Rasmussen.

“I think there’s a reasonable argument to be made that this election is going to be different,” Peter Brown, assistant director of the Quinnipiac Polling Institute.

“We may have to call off the Rick Santorum Surge Watch.” David Weigel in Slate.

“If you like Glenn Beck, you probably hate women. Sounds outlandish, I know, but if you apply Mr. Beck’s own twisted logic, it follows. Glenn Beck recently accused millions of Tea Partyers of racism. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi has also accused Tea Partyers of racism. Ergo, if you like him but not her, you hate women.” Dr. Milton Wolf in the Washington Times.

"Earlier today on the campaign trail, Ron Paul said he does not like his milk homogenized. After this, Rick Perry said, 'I am also not a fan of gay milk.'" Conan O’Brien.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

So sayeth the GOP

“The first thing a fielder does when he drops a routine pop fly ball is look at his glove,” – a blogger on Rick Perry blaming back surgery for his disastrous debate performances – a blogger writes.

An article on Newt Gingrich's official website is headlined "A Tale of Three Wives: Life on the Campaign Trail." The religious network CBN News wrote the article. It's a short, feel-good piece about Gingrich's wife, Callista, and the wives of Perry and Jon Huntsman. It might, however, remind viewers that Callista is Gingrich's third wife. It might?

“Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas -- sorry, I meant, for the Holidays -- is for Newt Gingrich to win the GOP nomination so the Dems can replay these quotes again and again and again. Oh, and a new bike. Thanks.” A blogger writes.

“It’s ridiculous to think that the Earth is 6,000 years old and that dinosaurs walked around at the same time as people did. It’s ridiculous. And if the Bible says so, the Bible is wrong.” Bernie Goldberg on Fox.

“Iowa Republicans don’t pick presidents. They pick Huckabees.” Rachael Maddow on MSNBC.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

God plays favorites

"If (Tim) Tebow wins the Super Bowl, against all odds, it will buoy his faithful, and emboldened faithful can do insane things, like burning mosques, bashing gays and indiscriminately banishing immigrants. Already there is a 'Jews for Tebow' Facebook page." Rabbi Joshua Hammerman writing in The Jewish Week.

Evangelicals are the U.S. Chamber of Commerce's useful idiots. A Blogger.

“There is a national pastor who is very much on the anti-Mitt Romney bandwagon,” Craig Bergman said. “A lot of the evangelicals believe God would give us four more years of Obama just for the opportunity to expose the cult of Mormon…There’s a thousand pastors ready to do that.”

Judd Saul, a Tea Party member and GOP activist from Black Hawk County offered the strongest criticism of Gingrich. “I’m just going by my gut. I shook the guy’s hand, looked him in the eye and he has no soul,” Saul said. “I don’t see a conviction. I don’t see a leader. I feel like I’m talking to a robot. I’ve talked to all the other candidates and none of them gave me the vibe that Gingrich did. He is not a guy you want to go have a beer with.”

Gingrich desperately wants to be thought of as an intellectual. Clearly he is a very smart and eloquent who synthesizes bits and pieces from the volumes of books he has read and then throws out the ideas that he thinks will provoke and focus the attention upon himself. Big difference between a narcissist and an intellectual! A blogger writes.

Know why Christine O’Donnell endorsed Mitt Romney? Because he flip-flops. “That’s one of the things that I like about him — because he’s been consistent since he changed his mind,” she said.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

He said, she said

People keep saying Gingrich is the smart one. That's like saying Moe was the smart stooge. He's only "smart" by comparison -- a blogger comment.

Pizza CEO Herman Cain's problem was simple: too many toppings – a blogger comment.

About Rick Perry "The worst thing to be in American politics is a joke," – says Stephen Farnsworth, an associate professor of communications at George Mason University,

Newt Gingrich, in fact, is the MacGyver of attack politics, perhaps the most effective and resourceful attacking politician of the modern era -- John Dickerson in Slate.

Sarah Palin writing in USA Today, criticized members of congress for lining their own pockets. “Irony.” Google it.

“The Iraqis will greet us a liberators,” and “It will be a matter of months or even weeks, not years,” – Dick Cheney.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Return of the geezer-hunk

Three times a day, our dog takes me outside for obvious reasons. In addition to training me about hygiene, she is working on my vocabulary.

One day, I get this idea to start jogging. I don’t know why. I never jogged as a young man. Preferred the bicycle. What the hell. I’ve got new batteries in the pacemaker, let’s give it a go. This will surely jazz up my medical charts.

My first attempts were pathetic. Not even ten yards. Poof. Honey, can you come get me. My legs were stiff. I couldn’t even skip-jump a curb. The results of allowing myself to whine on the couch five years following too many surgeries. Bad idea.

Gradually, my stamina is returning. I can now run fifty yards. Three times a day. Watch for me in your neighborhood. The old guy holding the plastic bag as far from his body as he can. Accompanied by a mini Dachshund with a big grin. Got the image?

What the hell, it amuses the dog -- and the neighbors -- and keeps my heart pumping.

Perhaps I should correct my over-statement. Perhaps “jog” is too strong a word to describe this new action. It’s more like a lope. You know, like the handlers in the Westminister Dog Show.

The Mystery Woman thinks we’re going to win Best in Show.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Are GOP candidates the best and brightest?

The Saturday GOP debates drove me to early whiskey on Sunday.

Had a hangover anyway. Not from whiskey. Rather, from the knowledge that Newt Gingrich was the smartest guy on the stage. And the most glib. Biggest liar, too. If this is the best the Republicans can do …

Mitt Romney has some smarts, but no spine.

And poor Rick Perry. A blogger summed him up this way: “I've come to realize that watching him is a lot like puppy training my dog. You can see on his face that he wants to make you happy so badly but he just doesn't know what to do.”

The rest are merely ciphers.

Comedian Andy Borowitz said it best: “Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.”

Damn. I just realized the liquor stores are closed on Sunday in Texas.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Newt Gingrich pile on gaining mass

“Most people just want somebody who can articulate their hatreds, and Gingrich is demagogically happy to play the role.” David Brooks, NY Times.

“That's the problem with Newt Gingrich: It's all true.” Peggy Noonan, Wall Street Journal.

The most important thing to remember about Newt Gingrich is that his colleagues in the House of Representatives effectively fired him as their leader even before the impeachment crisis, shifting power instead into the more competent hands of Tom DeLay. David Frum in the Frum Forum. Tom DeLay? Really?

David Frum also says that if Newt Gingrich wins the GOP presidential nomination “the mood of that convention will be full unconcealed panic.

We all know the leading GOP candidate -- None of the Above.

Friday, December 9, 2011

GOP people say the darndest things

Herman Cain is coming back as a GOP debate analyst on – wait for it – Fox News.

“Is Newt nuts? We can’t know whether Gingrich may have inherited his mother’s manic depression. Nevertheless, one observes in the former House Speaker certain symptoms—bouts of grandiosity, megalomania, irritability, racing thoughts, spending sprees—that go beyond the ordinary politician’s normal narcissism.” Jacob Weisberg writing in Slate.

“Newt Gingrich is the Jimmy Swaggart of American politics, a confidence man so transparent as to test the faith even of True Believers… Metaphorically speaking, Gingrich’s candidacy is the love child of Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, with Fox News throwing the baby shower.” Gene Lyons writing in Salon.

“By definition anybody I talk about is smaller than I am so when I talk about 'em I elevate 'em and call attention to what really is not noticed by a whole lot of people. So there's a lot of stuff I can't, either by virtue of my professional policy and by virtue of common sense, there's a lot of stuff that I don't talk about because it doesn't deserve to be any more widely spread than it already is on its own. Do you understand what I'm saying, Snerdley? It's a very limiting thing..” Rush Limbaugh.

“But don't go writing the president's political obituary just yet: He may wind up being resurrected by the GOP itself. The Republican Party – dominated by hardliners still cocky after the electoral sweep of 2010 – has backed its entire slate of candidates into far-right corners on everything from the environment and immigration to taxation and economic austerity.” Tim Dickinson writing in Rolling Stone.

Five of the last seven U.S. presidents were left-handed.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Sarah Palin hearts Donald Trump

Sarah Palin likes the notion of Donald Trump hosting a GOP debate. She said if she was running for president, she would absolutely be there. Sarah Who?

Blogger comment on GOP tax cuts: “Now if the short attention span Americans can just remember this next Novem --look squirrel !!”

“You gotta be sick and damn tired of people who want to cut Pell Grants, childhood basic education, Head Start, and programs that really break the cycle of poverty, and then turn around and say they want to put kids to work on the factory floor.” Goldie Taylor, editor of discussing the GOP campaigns.

If God told Herman Cain to run, why did he also tell Anita Perry her husband should run (she saw the burning bush) and Michele Bachmann and all of the others who have been tapped on the shoulder? Is this some sort of cruel game God is playing?” Sally Quinn writing in the Washington Post.

“The Vatican’s Central Post Office seemed a somnolent place, although it delivers more letters per capita than anywhere on earth. The Vatican gas station had no prices on the pumps. The Vatican Pharmacy, run by the Hospitaller Brothers of St John of God, offers a dazzling display of high-end perfumes and beauty-care products under a smiling portrait of the pope, as well as prescription medicines that are approved much faster than in the rest of Italy, I was told—although one will look in vain for contraceptives.” Tony Perrottet writing in Slate. Note: the child porn is behind the counter?

"My mom is gay and she doesn't need fixing." Eight year old boy whispers to Michele Bachmann.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

GOP clowns excite the base

Blogger comment on Herman Cain: “He said "I'm at peace with my God and at peace with my wife." But is he at peace with his pepperoni?”

Dan Quayle is supporting Mitt Romney for president. He didn’t say which one.

Blogger comment about the battle brewing between Donald Trump and Karl Rove: “The fight for the soul of the Republican Party? LMAO. Talk about an oxymoron. It's right up there with the whore with a heart of gold.”

“Why would a movement birthed by William F. Buckley allow itself to be hijacked by the likes of Donald Trump?” asked GOP consultant John Weaver

Gary Kamiya writing in Salon: “It’s all about impulse control. Like a wailing baby, the GOP base has none.”

Blogger comment on libertarians: “Fire and the wheel are socialist.”

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Ginger White said what?

Ginger White on sex with Herman Cain: “One time we were having sex, and I was looking up at the ceiling, thinking about, ‘What am I going to buy at the grocery store tomorrow?’”

Jimmy Fallon on Herman Cain: "Everybody is talking about the presidential election, and this is big. Two days after stepping down, there are rumors that Herman Cain is endorsing his former rival, Newt Gingrich. Not to be President, to be his new wingman."

Gary Kamiya writing in Salon: “Pretending that Herman Cain or Michele Bachmann are qualified to be president is like calling Meat Loaf ‘Mr. Loaf.’”

Blogger reacts to Fox host claim Muppets are brainwashing our children: “I can only hope that Muppets have the power to brainwash kids. My 2 year old twins ask to watch Elmo's Potty Time every night during their supper. Please, please Elmo, brainwash away.”

Richard Hofstadter on conservatives: “Uncommonly angry minds” have overwhelmingly been found on the social, cultural and political right.” He wrote that fifty years ago.

Newt does the work of three men;

Moe, Larry and Curly

Monday, December 5, 2011

GOP deserves what it gets

From Paul Krugman in the NYTimes about dumb-ass Republican candidates: “So what kind of politician can meet these basic G.O.P. requirements? There are only two ways to make the cut: to be totally cynical or to be totally clueless.”

From Cong. Tom Cole on Newt Gingrich: “But now it’s like Napoleon showing up for the 100 days. We all may follow him into battle again — and you just hope it’s not Waterloo.”

From a blog comment: “If (Rick) Perry plans to go on television to parody himself every time he says something stupid, he may want to consider buying a 24 hour cable channel. It would be cost efficient.”

From a blog comment on Mitt Romney: “Do we really need another paranoid, anti-press Nixonian type president in the white house? I don't think so.”

From Jerry McGlothlin about Michelle Bachmann in WorldNetDaily: “There is a biblical precedent set for God sending a woman to do a man's job when a man isn't willing to boldly step up to the plate to get the job done.” He cites Deborah.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Quotes -- with a bias

Blogger comment on Newt: “He actually has some interesting ideas- the problem is, he is constantly coming up with ideas, 90% of which are batshit crazy and 10% have some merit. And he really, really can't tell the difference...”

GOP presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann says many people who had supported Herman Cain in the race are getting behind her candidacy. At press time, it was unknown if that includes all twelve of them.

Ron Paul on Donald Trump: “I don’t quite understand the marching to his office. I didn’t realize he had the ability to lay on hands and anoint people.” Paul demurred on attending the proposed Trump-hosted debates.

Sarah Palin on the GOP race thus far. “I don’t think it has come down solidly between Newt and Romney. No, not yet because there is still a lot of fluid dynamic going on in this race.” She went on to make nice about Rick Santorum. What is fluid dynamic? Sounds like the transmission on a ’57 Buick.

Herman Cain: “Plan B.”

Friday, December 2, 2011

GOP non-stop carnival

“Do you vote for a Mormon who's had one wife, a Catholic who's had three wives, or an Evangelical who may have had an entire harem?”

Robert Jeffress, pastor First Baptist Church, Dallas.

Donald Trump will host a debate among GOP presidential candidates.

The women in the "Women for Cain” website photo are stock images from a German photographer. Nein, nein, nein.

Donald Trump will host a debate among GOP presidential candidates.

Vanity Fair published a six-page piece on Rick Perry and made noise about the possibility back pain and meds have contributed to his stupid campaign. Exit strategy?

Donald Trump will host a debate among GOP presidential candidates.

FOR SALE: 1982 VW Westfalia diesel. It does have noisy injectors that will need be rebuilt and there is an oil leak appears to be around the oil filler tube.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Penis Diaries

Once again, the penis has proven to be a poor political tool.

Why do candidates keep on trying to make it work for them? Time after time, the penis provides only short-term benefits.

However, the pecker may be the last vestige of bi-partisanship. There is neither rank nor station in the democracy of the sex drive. It ensnares anybody, regardless of political party. Just look at recent history:

Democrats: Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Anthony Weiner, etc.

Republicans: Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Mark Sanford, Newt Gingrich and now Herman Cain.

And don’t forget cross political dresser Dick Morris, who worked for Clinton and now Fox.

Maybe I’m biased, but I do draw a distinction. I tend to think Republicans hide behind the Good Book (Herman Cain was a Baptist minister). While Democrats hit the bar with their black flags flying. Not that it makes the deed any more palatable.

No matter. Both parties are guilty. Both quote Robert Duvall from Lonesome Dove too often. He was always asking the saloon gal “How about a little poke?”

Politicians seem to think they get special dispensation. I wonder, do shoe salesmen?

Remember the Henry Kissinger response when someone asked him how a short, fat, ugly guy managed to have so many Hollywood starlets hanging on his arm: “Power,” he said in his heavy accent, “is the greatest aphrodisiac.”

Politicians will never learn. Men will never learn. Neither will women. Before we close, let me share a bit of wisdom from a Texas congressman who shall remain anonymous:

“If I could get the screwing vote, I would never again have to worry about re-election.”

“The screwing vote?” I asked.

“Yep,” he said. “For every man on top, there’s a woman on bottom.”

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Once upon a strange notion

The Mystery Woman has notions. Notions that attack when you least expect. I’m not saying she’s weird, but maybe she was a public school teacher just a little bit too long.

Like this morning. We were eating our Hostess Cream Filled Cupcakes for breakfast when she launched into this notion about the days of the week.

Caution: strong language herewith.

“Mondays are crap,” she exclaimed even though no one had inquired. “Don’t try to get anything started on Mondays. And don’t get me started about Mondays.” She used an expletive to describe Mondays that I didn’t think teachers knew.

“Tuesdays and Wednesdays are interchangeable. Not a dime’s worth of difference.” The dog nodded in solemn agreement and went back to sleep.

“But Thursdays. Now you’re talking. Weekend’s coming. Where’s the church key?”

Teachers are religious about Fridays, which they hold in High Cherish and serve with tartar sauce. The Mystery Woman has a lot to say about how healthy Fridays are.

However, her notion was beginning to wear off. Suffice it to say, teachers live for weekends almost as much as summer. Makes them colorful.

And forever young.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

GOP clown car still full

Rick Perry is a slow learner. Despite his dismal performances at every single Republican debate, he wants to have a go at it one more time – with former Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Careful, son. That woman is smart. She will cut you a new one.

Herman Cain is selling “pause” to explain his stumble about Libya with the Milwaukee Journal – but few people are buying it after seeing the video. Doesn’t he realize that such a transparent lie makes his word suspect on the sexual harassment mess?

Gaffe multiplier: First he said no video. Then he tried to cut the face time from one hour to twenty minutes. Failing those feints. Herman Cain cancelled his scheduled meeting with the New Hampshire Union Leader editorial board. At first, the newspaper was unaware of the scheduling kerfuffle and thought Cain was merely late. The newspaper tweeted: “If Cain is more than 30 minutes late for our interview, is our next one free?” Think pizza delivery.

Newt Gingrich. Historian. Strategic thinker. Big fat liar.

Rick Perry. Well, he’s not fat.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Newt is next. Cheney on deck.

For a shining moment, it appeared the Republican Spring was in full blossom. After all, the Tea Party had gnarled its way into politics du jour. The air was heavy with talk of returning to traditional values. You know, like waterboarding and photo IDs.

Across the mid-west, hearts beat at one to the same drum beat – no new taxes. Say it – no new taxes. Again.

God and the Tea Party spoke directly with candidates. Run, my children. Roll back the minimum wage.

Forget that earlier jive about false gods. Gold is good. Euro bad.


It seemed everyone’s prayers were being answered. Then tragedy struck. The candidates began to speak. Babel returned.

“You want a job, right?”

“All liberals in Congress should be investigated for being anti-American, Joe McCarthy style.”

And who can forget, “Oops.”

Wait a minute. This is beginning to sound like a Dick Cheney echo chamber. You remember Cheney. A guy at NPR said Cheney is the country's chief advocate for war, torture, surveillance and secrecy.

And he’s at 13 percent in the polls. Cheney’s surge is coming. He’s next right after Newt.

The Republican Spring.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The debates -- pick a candidate, any candidate

Warning: snark attack herewith.

Last night at the foreign policy debate, the Republicans did some mighty fine pageant walking. Each candidate had the routine pat:

-- smile at the camera, take a few side-steps, show your ass.

With perhaps the most to lose, Herman Cain lost the most. Once past 9-9-9, he seems to have little to say of any substance.

And Newt, whom some described as an evil character from Dr. Seuss, continued live up to his reputation as the bully who likes to beat you down with a barrage of heavy words regardless of whether they make sense.

Speaking of making sense, Huntsman often did. But he ruins everything he says with his arched eyebrow. Makes him look smug and rich and Mormon.

Or is that Romney? Sometimes, I get them confused. Like having a spare Mormon in the campaign kit. Whether needed or not.

Just like having two Texans in the race. That’s a double negative. Before and after simultaneously. Like hearing a lingering echo from a bad old dream. With Perry starring as "grasshopper."

Bachman, Santorum, Paul – just barely enough body heat to cloud the exact time their campaigns died.

This time, the audience was more like Romney. They flip-flopped -- cheering both for and against water-boarding. Riddle me that.

Still, I watched the show ‘til they cut away. For the same reason I watch buildings implode.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

GOP debate: spittle and sputter

When last we spoke, I told you the extreme right wing base of the Republican Tea Party does not care whether Herman Cain has been accused of sexual harassment.

In last night’s debate, the audience booed the moderators for having the temerity to even raise the question. I rest my case.

Cain is going to get it. If those women hold a joint press conference, they will generate enough heat to fire up the women who vote. Again last night, he glossed over the facts that two settlements have resulted from charges against him. Slick.

Newt is getting a little old for his angry young man routine. He hates the media and uses every debate to spittle a little. Tiresome. His nasty personality negates his smarts.

None of the GOP candidates had a handle on how the European financial problems might impact America. Predictably, most of the economic discussions centered on business – not people.

Nobody laid a glove on Romney. Nobody even tried. Are they cowards afraid to engage him?

And then there’s Rick Perry.

OK, Rick – let’s try this one more time:

“One, two – buckle my shoe…”

Sunday, November 6, 2011

There are none so blind...

What does the Herman Cain sexual harassment scandal tell you – about the far right?

If you read the early polls, you will realize the conservatives don’t care. They deny there is such a thing as sexual harassment. Convenient. But what if it were your daughter, wife, girl friend?

And they continue to pour money into Cain’s campaign. They hate Obama so much that they cannot see the fatal flaws of a tainted candidate.

The far right has no soul, only an ugly past and a desperate future.

Remember at the Republican debate when the audience cheered as the moderator pointed out Rick Perry has executed more criminals than any other governor?

Remember when, at a subsequent GOP debate, one or two in the audience booed a soldier because he was gay?

These people don’t care.

And then there’s Cain. He’s a poor liar who changed his story every day:

  1. Perry leaked the sexual harassment story.
  2. Or… The liberal media is out to get him.
  3. And don’t forget… He was campaigning while black.


Saturday, October 29, 2011

The way we roll, Part Deuce

For the next 10 days or so, our communications will be sporadic. Two reasons: we are on the road or we are staying with relatives with no internet. Sometimes both.

Car's fine. Dog's fine. We're fine.

This morning, I am in a Starbucks in Ocala. FL., mooching off their wifi. It does not feel comfortable. I much prefer my Dick Tracy wristwatch. You know, the one that was loaded with electronic gadgets. Ahead of its time.

Anyhow, I won’t bore you with a travelogue. Just wanted to let friends and family know we are still out there.


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

E-Mail Troubles

We're in the mountains and having e-troubles. but we're having fun and will check in later.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

This is how we roll

Perhaps you are wondering why I have been so quiet of late. After all, it is not my natural state.

I've been BUSY, BUSY, BUSY

Let me count the ways:

-- the family minivan nearly died. We replaced it with a newer model minivan. You know I always go for the splashy image. well, this beast had to go to the shop not once, not twice, but thrice. Hang on, it gets better.

-- the roof had to be replaced. Not on the van...on the house. Roofers require lots of personal attention. Often, they don't show up on the day promised. Neither does the trucker who off-loads the dumpster on the wrong side of the driveway which effectively pins in the sexy minivan. And the rain threatens. They did finish. Had they waited til this week, the snow would have threatened.

-- undaunted, we loaded the boxes, suitcases and movie screens into the van ready to roll outta here this morning bright and early. But, lo, fate had another grin for us. You know how they say a newborn is not grinning, it's only gas. Well, in our case, it is gas and we are not grinning. Twice the gas company had to come to the house to trace the illusive gas leak. When they found it, the technician red tagged our home. He shut down the entire heating system and gave us two little space heaters and admonished us to be brave. He reminded us that had we left town, likely the gas would have accumulated and made a big impression on the neighborhood. We were lucky.

-- at 6:30 this morning, Ethan's wife called to say he would be here at 7. Ethan is a heating contractor. Ethan is my new best friend forever.

So, we will try to hit the highway mid-morning. Still on schedule.

Oh, did I tell you Mel Gibson wants to make a movie of our adventure?

And -- do you want to buy a house? a minivan?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

GOP creates eight jobs, at least

If all the Republicans running for president were laid end to end, would marriage still be restricted to only a man and a woman?

What the Republicans need is a return to the good old days when the presidential ticket was decided in the back room. You know, the shifty guys in the smoke-filled back room. That’s how we got Roosevelt, Truman and Eisenhower.

The current flavor of the week system underscores the weakness in the field of wannabes. And it has given birth to some revealing doozies:

“Corporations are people.”

“If you are poor, it’s your own fault.”

“Nine, nine, nine plus a noun and a verb.”

“The State of Texas plus a noun and a verb.”

“God told me to run plus a noun and a verb.”

Things have gotten so goofy that the Tea Party is considering changing its focus from the presidential race to hopes of gaining control of the senate. Seriously.

This GOP beauty pageant has got to stop. It’s so bad on the campaign trail that even Sarah Palin won’t run.

At the risk of repeating myself, let me ask: if all the Republicans running for president were laid end to end, would they excite the electorate?

Or just the crazies …

PS--need a laugh? Check out the Dumb Quote Random Generator at the Houston Press

Thursday, September 29, 2011

This is highbrow stuff

A reader writes: “I saw a sign on Facebook that said, ‘I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.’”

Do you think Chris Christie is jockeying to be named GOP veep? Could explain his adult onset of coy.

Sarah Palin, God bless her, says the title would shackle her. What title? President of the United States. That title. Her statement requires a mandatory suspension of disbelief.

"We have this fantasy that our interests and the interests of the super rich are the same. Like somehow the rich will eventually get so full that they'll explode. And the candy will rain down on the rest of us. Like there's some kind of pinata of benevolence. But here's the thing about a pinata, it doesn't open on its own. You have to beat it with a stick." — Bill Maher.

The New World Order: Cheech and Chong are in new web commercials selling special brownies. For Fiber One.

When she lured me to Minneapolis, the Mystery Woman conveniently forgot to tell me about the weather. Not the ice and snow and cold. Rather, the extremes. Minnesota and N. Dakota are tied for the most extreme weather in the US of A. And America has the most consistent extreme weather than any other nation on this earth. Elder abuse?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

It ain't over til the fat man sings

Hopefully, Chris Christie will keep his word and will not run for president. It’s not that I am afraid he might win. I’m afraid he might die.

The man is morbidly obese and the rigors of a presidential campaign are excruciating. His heft puts him at serious risk. He’s a young man with a family. Too risky.

That said, I don’t think Christie ultimately could pass the Tea Party/GOP litmus test. Remember, he appointed a Muslim judge and said talk of Sharia law was “crazy.” Christie is soft on guns and gay marriage and he might actually believe in science saying “global warming is real.”

His pugnacious style reminds me of what Rick Perry could be if he really tried.

OK. I’m wrong. Too subtle. Both are bullies. Of course, that defines the Tea Party BFF. Bullies.

Here’s my strong suggestion for Gov. Christie: take a pass this election cycle, get healthy and make a run in four years. Then we could all have some fun.

Meanwhile, cut the coy crap.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Tea Party sly humor showing


What to make of the GOP Florida straw poll?

Certainly it provides a good laugh track which will keep Democrats amused until the next scheduled debate -- or unscheduled campaign gaffe -- which ever comes first.

Herman Cain first; Michele Bachmann last. Who knew the Tea Party had a sense of humor?

Of course, Cain’s victory provides full employment for journalists, pundits and professional duh-sayers. Do you really think he has a chance? Duh.

Clarity? Not a chance. Not as long as the Tea Party continues to flex more beef than brains. Rick Perry obviously spent a lot of time at muscle beach. Too much time in the full sun.

What does the Florida straw poll prove? The Tea Party is a fickle bunch. First they loved Bachmann in Iowa, then Trump in one of his palaces, then Perry in his named-boots (Freedom and Liberty), then Cain in Florida. Herman Cain, who talks in bumper stickers.

Fickle. That’s about it. Oh yes, they really don't like Romney.

QUOTE of the day from the Miami Herald:

Ana Navarro, of Miami-Dade and an advisor to Jon Huntsman, said Perry is more show than substance.

“Rick Perry is a Texas stud, a real macho-man who looks great in cowboy hat and boots and was supposed to come galloping on his stallion to rescue Republicans and lead us to the promise land,” said Navarro, an advisor to Huntsman’s campaign. “But it’s become increasingly clear he can’t perform. He has electile dysfunction.”

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Trash talk, snippets, stuff

Quote of the Day: "Sure I displayed it, yes. But I do that 20 times a week. I do it when someone needs to cut a watermelon." — Jay Kimbrough, deputy chancellor of the Texas A&M System and former Rick Perry chief of staff, on the pocketknife that reportedly got him escorted out of a building Wednesday after being fired. (Texas Tribune)

Raise your hand if you are wearing a watch. If you are, you’re likely old. The young people today use a cell phone. Raise your other hand if you lug a camera around with you. Not if you use your cell phone. Both hands in the air? Congrats, you’re a geezer victim of highway robbery perpetrated by AT&T, T-Moble, etc.

Did you know that more people have been killed by mosquitoes than by human beings?

Which came first? When Thomas Edison wired your neighborhood, the first four household appliances to become electrified were: sewing machine, fan, toaster and teakettle. The fifth was the vibrator. Not at your house, you say? Pity.

On a non-related note, if you’ve emailed me the past few days, I never got it. My email software jammed up. Seems I had 41,000 messages piled up that should have been deleted but weren’t. It’s working now. Fire at will. Have fun.

Monday, September 19, 2011

He's getting heavy, but he's still my brother

Have you been paying attention to the polls?

Nobody likes nothing. Not the Republicans, not the Democrats, not the Congress and not the president.

The Republicans, it seems, cannot change their tune while the Democrats try to sing with their mouths closed. And the Tea Party? They are just practicing their scales.

But even with all the fighting, nothing happens. Even with the bad poll ratings, nothing happens.

The Republicans need to wet-mop their side of the aisle to clean up the crap they spew daily. They would rather see us broke, out of work, sick and hungry than try to fix the American economy that they helped wreck.

Extremists who dedicate their lives to making Obama a one-term president are hurting our country in the process. Sadly, it does no good to excavate for new ideas in the anger where the right wing grows. Too much dead dirt.

Obama has broken our hearts. He has sinned against his mandate. We expected so much more. That’s part of our malaise – expectations were too high for reality. But he is a fool for trying to negotiate further with the right wing. They have declared.

Compromise? Not with the Kenyan.

The only science the GOP believes in is political science. They are better at selling their narrative than are the inept Democrats.

What a mess.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

God -- you listening?

God, what in the hell are you thinking?

Republican presidential candidates are claiming you chose them to run. Really? All of them? Several of them? Two of them? Besides, I always thought Jews were the chosen people.

What’s the deal?

Rick Perry says he feels “called” to run. And he’s thrown in with a tough Pentecostal crowd. Read about his army of God in the Texas Observer.

Must be a party line. Michelle Backmann got the same "call." There’s even video tape of her claiming she’s “hot for Jesus.” Whoa.

Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman, the two Mormon guys, think getting The Word from angels who wrote on golden plates trumps our burning bush. We can’t all be right.

It’s the Return of the Moral Majority. Religion is becoming politicized – and weaponized.

Is that really what you want? If so, you’ve got a wicked sense of humor.

Aww hell. I think I’m talking to myself

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Indian Summer, come on Indian Summer

Winter hits tomorrow. The forecast is for overnight lows to freeze. Hoodies went up all over the Twin Cities today as we warmed out of the early morning 40s.

Cold weather doesn’t fool around up here. Monday it was 90. Thursday it freezes. I’m convinced the first blizzard will ride into town by the weekend. This time, I have my own boots. You may recall that the Mystery Woman had me convinced that Uggs were bisexual – and for the first five winters, I wore them every day while walking the dog.

Strong winds are fueling wildfires a few hundred miles north of here. Started by a lightening strike. Burning the Boundary Waters forests.

I gasp at fire pictures from Texas. Terrible. Terrible. Made even worse by dumb ass politics. I’ll let that line rest – but the record will out.

Our winter migration kicks off in a few weeks. This year, we’ll swing east to visit friends and family all the way from the Blue Ridge and Smokey Mountains to the everglades in Florida. We plan a stop-over in New Orleans for some Cajun food that will serve as warm up for Texas BBQ and Tex-Mex.

I miss Maudie’s and the Salt Lick. Been a long time.

Y’all take care of yourselves. You are important to us.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Tea Party reveals blood lust

Maybe Rick Perry was off his game in last night’s American Taliban debate in Florida because of back trouble. That’s what Texas Monthly columnist Paul Burka speculates.

And we’ll get back to that in a minute.

Something very telling is going on at these debates. Something chilling.

In the first round, the line that got the most reaction came not from the gladiators, but from the referee. The audience erupted into wild applause when Brian Williams correctly pointed out that Texas Gov. Rick Perry has presided over more executions than any other governor. Cheers flew around the Coliseum.

Dead. That’s how many Republicans prefer criminals whether or not the death penalty works.

At the second debate, another blood splatter came when the moderator asked whether a person without medical insurance should be left to die. Again a throaty cry reverberated from the audience: “Yes!” Even Ron Paul looked startled.

Dead. That’s how some Republicans prefer poor people without money enough for health insurance.

Now, back to Gov. Perry’s possible back trouble. Expect no mercy from your fellow Tea Party Republicans. They’re blood thirsty.

And yours will do until they can rip into Obama.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Things that go bump in the night

About ten o'clock last night, I kept hearing this short burst of sound, no more than two or three seconds. Electrical? Water? Wind in the shingles? Couldn't hear it everywhere. Finally, I isolated the sound along the wall with the bookshelf in the living room.

We unplugged everything in the wall and spent maybe two hours off an on trying to pinpoint the source of the sound.

Checked the breakers, checked the hoses, checked the washer/dryer. Nothing.

I worried about the possibility of an electrical fire but the walls were not hot to the touch.

We knew an electrician would charge a hundred bucks or more.

What to do?

Finally, with a grin, the Mystery Woman figured it out. My cell phone was sitting on the wooden book shelf and would vibrate every couple of minutes.

But the problem deepened.

We couldn't figure out how to turn it off, so the Mystery Woman put it on a pillow.

And we went to bed.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

GOP clown car rolling along

Michele Bachmann. Self-proclaimed defender of the incandescent light bulb. Surely, you’ve seen it light up over head each time she thinks. You haven’t?

Rick Perry says “God is how we got here.” Proves my point -- I’ve been telling you and telling you that Republicans don’t understand sex.

Scroll down. There’s a photo on the Talking Points Memo site showing a young girl holding a home-made sign that reads: “Ron Paul is the Constitution.” She’s also carrying a ticket to the Ron Paul Mosh Pit. You have to really work to suspend this much disbelief. Mosh pit. Indeed.

Best campaign joke so far: “Mitt Romney. Still the GOP front-runner.”

Friday, August 19, 2011

Vetting the GOP's top guns

A full page ad in the Austin Chronicle asks, “Have you had sex with Rick Perry?” Several friends from Texas emailed it to me. I don’t know why – I never had sex with Perry.

He’s only been an announced presidential candidate for one week and already Republican operatives fret about Perry’s swagger, Perry’s mouth and Perry’s limited regional appeal. Translation: the Troubles could affect contributions outside Texas.

You saw the story where Michele Bachmann’s voices in her head made it to her mouth and she announced her fears about the Soviet Union (which dissolved 20 years ago). She meant Russia. You can see Russia from your house in Minnesota.

Funniest line in this election year: Romney, Perry, Bachmann. The GOP’s top tier.

Phrases become trite quickly in this 24/7 political news cycle. Talking heads over-use ‘em. “At the end of the day...,” seems to be everyone’s favorite catch phrase. Not me. At the end of the day -- I find it gets dark.

Not as good as Dorothy Parker’s classic perspective: “If all the girls who attended the Yale senior prom were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.”

But I’m trying.

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