Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Penis Diaries

Once again, the penis has proven to be a poor political tool.

Why do candidates keep on trying to make it work for them? Time after time, the penis provides only short-term benefits.

However, the pecker may be the last vestige of bi-partisanship. There is neither rank nor station in the democracy of the sex drive. It ensnares anybody, regardless of political party. Just look at recent history:

Democrats: Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Anthony Weiner, etc.

Republicans: Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Mark Sanford, Newt Gingrich and now Herman Cain.

And don’t forget cross political dresser Dick Morris, who worked for Clinton and now Fox.

Maybe I’m biased, but I do draw a distinction. I tend to think Republicans hide behind the Good Book (Herman Cain was a Baptist minister). While Democrats hit the bar with their black flags flying. Not that it makes the deed any more palatable.

No matter. Both parties are guilty. Both quote Robert Duvall from Lonesome Dove too often. He was always asking the saloon gal “How about a little poke?”

Politicians seem to think they get special dispensation. I wonder, do shoe salesmen?

Remember the Henry Kissinger response when someone asked him how a short, fat, ugly guy managed to have so many Hollywood starlets hanging on his arm: “Power,” he said in his heavy accent, “is the greatest aphrodisiac.”

Politicians will never learn. Men will never learn. Neither will women. Before we close, let me share a bit of wisdom from a Texas congressman who shall remain anonymous:

“If I could get the screwing vote, I would never again have to worry about re-election.”

“The screwing vote?” I asked.

“Yep,” he said. “For every man on top, there’s a woman on bottom.”


George said...

Another thing...

Habit is hard to break. Politicians are so busy screwing the public, they often take work home with them.

Ken Martin said...

Don't forget John F. Kennedy. I was just reading a piece in Newsweek about Jackie's tapes but it also mentioned the prez liked to mess around on the side.

The South Plainsman said...

Every one of them will take a little on the side. Its not a partisan thing at all. And they all screw the public as much and often as they can.

Just goes with being a politician these days, I guess. No honor.....just on her. LOL

Jaye Ramsey Sutter said...

Oddly no one accused Richard Nixon of cheating on Pat. Perhaps because he was screwing the country so openly.

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